jonathan/ferguson

reverse osmosis

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:14:00 +0530

a friend asked me this morning whether i’d be having tandoori turkey, masala mashed potatoes and cranberry curry for thanksgiving today. it sounded like a good idea. but since i’m in the heartland of america now, i figured i’d blend in. so i went with hardcore traditional. and loved every minute of it. thanks for the fantastic meal emily!

today was a lazy day of trying to stay warm in a chilly chicago apartment on a chilly chicago day. i tried to avoid using the word freezing. but i was. and still am. both yesterday and today have been fighting-off-the-jet-lag days. chicago is nearly 12 hours behind delhi. and i’ve done pretty well reversing my schedule so far. imagine eating breakfast before you go to bed. a huge thanksgiving lunch in the middle of the night. and a light dinner just as you should be waking up. its amazing the body doesn’t cry foul play and completely shut down.

my last few days in delhi were a whirlwind. rushing from here to there. tackling the massive task of squeezing a year into a couple of bags that american airlines would penny pinch me for. in the midst of it all my friends were amazing. coming through in every way. supporting me. cooking for me. sitting on my bags, while i zipped. driving me to the airport. wishing me farewell. making sure i reached ok. thanks punit! dushyant! reeta! naresh! ruby! ankur! louise! you are the reason i will return.

there are plenty of others to thank. thanks to viviana for buying all of my stuff. to madhu for carrying off every last item i didn’t sell. to rahul and his brother for picking up my newspapers and dry cleaning. geetaji and subodhji for the last minute hindi lessons. vibha for the good conversation. sonu store for allowing me to weigh my bags on your rice/grain scale. boren for the fellowship. taxpayers for the funding. my parents for having me. oh, and chipotle for their guacamole post-return. i can’t believe i went a year without it.

it feels good to be home. to catch up. to speak super fast using terrible grammar and 90% slang and be completely understood. i’ve been pretending that i’ve just arrived for the first time. examining this strange culture and its people. making observations. asking questions. like, why are people rushing to stores in the middle of the night, as i write this, to find so-called specials that will cost them money but convince them that they’ve saved money, all while making their lives better? pure pandemonium. i would join them for a closer look but i have no dollars. and since no one takes rupees, i think i’ll just spend my black friday adding masala to my leftovers.

what could have been became, and now becomes what was

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:32:00 +0530

there was a time when i didn’t like indian food. what are these things? cloves? in the rice? when i didn’t care for indian music. is she really even saying anything? when i didn’t know the names of the languages spoken here. wait, i thought hindi was a religion. a time when the absence of toilet paper and deodorant would have been too much for anyone to ask. actually, cancel the last one. it still is.

but over the past four years what was someone else’s culture, someone’s else’s food, someone else’s land, someone else’s language, has all become part of my own. since the day my interest in india first took root, it has been watered with experiences here and at home that have grown it into the banyan tree it is today. there have been downpours and dry spells. but there has always been growth. and it hasn’t just been growth in knowledge and processes. systems and protocols. my heart has also grown. it has grown attached to this place. to this part of the world. to its beauty. to its people.

my year in india has made everything come alive. and the longer i am here, the harder it is to distinguish between my home and my home home. the differences don’t stand out nearly as much as they once did. it’s only in those random unannounced moments when i ask, “why is everyone doing it this way,” that the distinctions surface. i’m sure they will be clear again starting next week as my english is ridiculed and i begin to feel desperately far from throngs of people. but as i travel around the world and pick up pieces of culture and leave pieces of myself behind, the term foreign means less to me. it’s a term used to describe other people. not myself. i’m not a foreigner am i?

this year has been incredible in infinite ways. i have survived. i have thrived. my life has been enriched in ways i will never know. when i applied for this fellowship it was a long shot. but GOD had other plans. and what could have been became. it now becomes what was and over the next month i will contemplate what will be. but i’m not so sure my contemplation really even matters. what will be will be. and i will be there to take it all in.

a wedding processional down my gully. the generator powered...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:09:23 +0530

a wedding processional down my gully. the generator powered chandeliers and the women dancing with fire on their heads are always a highlight.

thanks mr. singh

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 23:18:00 +0530

today i had the privilege of visiting the one office i’ve avoided my entire time here in india. the FRRO - foreigners regional registration office. registration isn’t required for those on tourist visas whose stay doesn’t exceed the maximum 180 days in a single visit. so thankfully by going to the uk halfway through the year, i avoided having my own nightmare story to tell about waiting for hours in line, then getting the run around. having the wrong documents. or not enough copies of the right ones. missing signatures from important people on the other side of town. so on and so forth.

i returned to india may 25 to start my second half of the year and a brand new set of 180 days. but for some reason, amidst illnesses and nationwide jaunts i seemed to have forgotten what day i actually entered. in my head i thought, oh somewhere around the end of may, which i then concretely decided was may 29 for no reason at all. of course, this could have all been cleared up by actually looking in my passport, which is always within reach and within view. but in my mind nothing needed to be cleared up. so i never did.

as i recovered from my lung infection and realized going home at the end of november was the best option, i naturally and smartly remembered that i had to leave before november 29. i considered the 27th and 28th, then realized it was thanksgiving weekend, so opted for the 25th instead. i didn’t want to be sleeping at the dinner table while casseroles were passed in front of me. so i chose one day before. then i confidently booked my return flight with american and paid the $250 change fee. all set. good to go.

it wasn’t until this weekend that i casually decided to open my passport. and look at my visa. and notice the stamped date of my last entry. may 25. now, you may be counting in your head like everyone at the FRRO. may, june, july, august…november. exactly 6 months to the day! problem kya hai? why yes it is exactly 6 months. and for that coincidence i was lucky. but as we all know, 30 days has september, april, june, and november. all the rest have 31. and mind you, the majority of those with 31 came during my second 180 days. meaning, november 25 is day 183. oops.

now oops doesn’t really work with governments. you can imagine how the u.s. immigration office would respond to oops i overstayed my visa. its really no different here. so my options became, go to nepal or thailand or sri lanka in the next 10 days and spend money you should save in order to go out and reenter, thereby starting a third set of 180 days. go home even earlier, meaning next week, which would require another $250 change fee that i’m sure american would gladly accept. or three, finally make that visit to the FRRO and collect content for my blog while begging for a 3 day extension.

i chose the third option. my chase checking account demanded it. i did my homework. i made calls. i made photocopies. i had all the papers ready and in hand. i set my alarm for 8am to beat the monday morning foreign rush, and after waking up at 10:30am, finally was on my way to the FRRO. my saving grace turned out to be a by chance phone call i had with a mr. singh just before i left home. he was the head of the entire office and i have no idea how i got through to him. i just called the general number listed on the website. who knew the key to unlocking the FRRO bureaucracy was shamelessly posted online for everyone to see. genius.

and while after reaching i was told at the reception to take all of my paperwork to another office on the other side of town. and i did have to stand in line. then sit. then stand. then wait. then be told i was at the wrong counter. then stand and wait some more. in the end, it was the the blessing of mr. singh and my having spoken with him in the morning that eventually resulted in a stamp in my passport and a 10 day extension. a miracle really. one visit. to only one office. and i wasn’t charged a single rupee. yet they saved me thousands. and a headache i didn’t even know i had 48 hours before.

on my way out as i looked around at the mostly afghani and iranian crowd who you’d have guessed had been standing in line for weeks, if not months, maybe years. i felt relieved to have come and gone so easily with only enough content for a single blog entry. i will sing the praises of the FRRO and mr. singh. but i dread the day i have to return. happy thanksgiving mr. singh. it was nice meeting you.

ठीक ठीक मालूम नहीं

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:02:00 +0530

it is 3:00am. i went to bed hours ago. but the mosquitoes won’t let me sleep. and neither will my mind. the buzzing in my ears matches the buzzing in my head. i cannot rest. and i’m tired.

it was not a great day. i realized another pending visa problem due to nothing more than careless oversight on my part. i got stuck with a fake rs. 500 note, which happens with some frequency here. no one will take it. my loss. the dogs are barking like they do every night, going on and on. the donkeys are probably back. they always show up late at night on the main road and the dogs can’t stand them. and now i feel a sore throat coming on again. yes, again. everyone in delhi is sick. the suffocating blanket of smog that has trapped us and our emissions the past couple of weeks has left everyone gasping for air.

but more than all of this reentry has begun. and that consumes my mind most. i feel completely lost even though i know exactly where i am. i am a sojourner. i do not belong here. i do not belong there. i have seen too much. i have experienced too little. i have spread myself thin. parts of me lie scattered across various continents. in cities around the world. it happens. its no surprise. i’m pretty sure this will be my life. and i’m usually content living it. but right now i’m in the middle of a transition. and i’ve never been fond of transitions. my mother will tell you. i prefer to skip straight to the new order. or return to the old. without having to phase one in while the other fades out.

where am i taking all my stuff? where am i taking myself? i don’t know exactly. and why take it all home if i hope to come back? because i don’t know exactly. i don’t know where i’m going or for how long. i don’t know exactly when i’ll return. and therein lies my problem. this isn’t my usual reluctant transition. i could be headed for months of transition. no longer just a single action, but a continuity of the state. which would require the use of a perfect participle. and i do not want to use a perfect participle when describing my transition. i want to use only short and quick adjectives that describe a past and completed action. or better yet a hypothetical action. a state of transition sounds depressing. and makes me feel a little blah too. क्या करें ?

its a beautiful saturday in delhi…now watch the video...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:07:37 +0530

its a beautiful saturday in delhi…now watch the video below to see what it really looks like outside…the widget doesn’t always communicate the whole picture.

this is what it really looks like outside…

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 15:04:26 +0530

this is what it really looks like outside…

by far the coolest jeans i’ve seen in india

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 01:46:00 +0530

by far the coolest jeans i’ve seen in india

visits to various slums in delhi for my final project. pictured:...

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 23:33:00 +0530

visits to various slums in delhi for my final project.
pictured: karpuri thakur camp and indira gandhi camps I, II, and III.

ladies and gentlemen...

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:54:00 +0530

the jury is out. the deliberation over. i am returning to the united states of america the day before thanksgiving, november 25, four weeks from now, where i’ll spend the all-american holiday with friends and family in chicago. so much thought and drama has gone into this decision. and i am a bit of a wreck. i’m in the middle of slum visits for my final research project. i’m in the middle of battling a lung infection. i’m in the middle of converting normal phrases into ones that contain perfect and imperfect participles. and i’m in the middle of searching for a job that will bring me back here in a couple months (and one that will pay enough to cover student loans no longer in deferment).

today was a good hindi day. a good day in the slums. and actually a good day in delhi. but i’m feeling low. i’m not ready to leave. and this is the most uncertain my life has been in years. no direction. no place to call home. i desperately want to come back. i have not exhausted this experience. this place. and my hindi is only now starting to take off. another six months to a year would do the trick. cutting it off now is the wrong thing. i lived 9+ years of my life in tennessee. 9+ in north carolina. 9+ in illinois. and only 1 here. i need more time to figure it out. to really know. to become the local urban expert.

but for now, i’ll go where i know. and be where i must. and i’ll enjoy every minute catching up with my dear family and old friends. and i’ll celebrate those relationships until the right door opens and the right opportunity picks me up and brings me back. who knows, maybe before i even leave a direction will be clear. either way i have a lot to be thankful for this year and that’s what i’ll remember while stuffing my face with countless casseroles and american pies. see you in a few weeks!

Video

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:44:00 +0530

around nagpur

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 19:33:32 +0530

around nagpur

Video

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:13:57 +0530

diwali at the reddy residence

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:38:00 +0530

diwali at the reddy residence

celebrating diwali in the heart of india

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:10:00 +0530

nagpur is the geographical center of india. north, west, east, south. they all meet here. there’s a monument that says so. and this year it was the center of my very first diwali celebration. a true festival of lights. i reached nagpur the day before diwali with punit. it was his birthday and by the end of the night we were stuffing cake down each other’s faces. a tradition here. but during the day, we passed out all the gifts he brought home with him. and it was fun to be a part of it. new saris, new clothes, new sheets, new bed covers, new dishes. all sorts of new things. all sorts of new smiles.

diwali itself was a blast. crackers bursting left, right and center. you’ve never seen so many going off at the same time. every house shooting off fireworks. setting off huge explosions. all permited. all part of the fun. no crossing state boundaries required. indiana, tennessee and alabama don’t stock ‘em like this anyway. they were beyond illegal by american standards. but so easy to use! so entertaining! so fun! after lakshmi pooja, we set off “spinners” and “flower pots” (the brightest), a 1,000 piece firecracker kit, and two huge ones we saved for last. they were awesome. this went on for hours, just about every night, the entire week. and everyone seemed to enjoy it. except jani, the dog, who sat crouched under the table, under a bed, or under the stairs with a pathetic look on her face. she’s not a fan.

while i was originally planning to be there only for the weekend, i continued to battle fevers and a dry cough (which has since turned out to be a bacterial infection in my left lung). so, with the family begging me to stay, i decided to change my return flight and stay the rest of the week. i was relaxed. i had a family. and they were feeding me three meals a day. it was refreshing. during the week we went all over nagpur, to the orange market, to a nearby jungle on our scooters, to the newly opened baskin robbins, and even north to the temple at ramtek where monkeys ate from my hand. i was desperately trying to breathe in all the fresh air i could. anything to purge my delhi infected lungs.

but the most meaningful part of the week was spending time with punit’s family. and in the end, becoming a part of it. it was refreshing to relax among a large group of people who loved each other and were comfortable being with each other. genuine love. genuine hospitality. three generations under one roof. constantly sacrificing for me and for each other. and all with such joy and contentment. that was the most refreshing and relaxing thing of all. and it came at the right time. i’m grateful to punit and his family for allowing me the privilege to join them.

enjoying freshly made upma, dosas, pakoras, and coconut chutney while we all sat around and laughed at the indian soap operas. except for ammaji (grandmother) and akkaji (eldest aunt) who watch them intensely every night. having dida (the youngest aunt) become my nurse for the week, insisting i visit the doctor, monitoring my fevers, examining my medicines, and ensuring my recovery. hanging out with mohit (punit’s brother) pooja, sudha, and rashmi (punit’s cousins, but close enough to be sisters), and laughing and laughing. hearing punit’s dad wander around the house chanting om every morning then trading it in during the day for hours of video games on the computer. and having endless discussions into the night with punit about my future. about my family. about america. i needed it.

i filled up their dust bin with stacks of huge bisleri water bottles. i coughed all day and night. but no one complained. no one forced me to eat more than i could. no one told ammaji that i was secretly drinking ice cold pani (water). i asked punit to go here and there and pick up this and that. to turn the fan down. to turn the fan up. to let me drive the scooter. he always graciously agreed. and while he accused me of almost running over an old man and he beat me in our rangoli competition, he was the perfect host. they were the perfect host family. it was a perfect diwali in the center of a now cooler india surrounded by the love of a warm family.

rangoli adds color to an already festive diwali celebration

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:01:04 +0530

rangoli adds color to an already festive diwali celebration

getting to nagpur

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 20:26:00 +0530

in a flurry of fever (and cough) i spent my last two days in delhi running around like a mad man. i wasn’t exactly sure what i was supposed to do for diwali. how i was to prepare. cough. what kind of gifts i was supposed to buy and for whom. so, since it is the biggest holiday of the year and many compare it to christmas, i figured i’d just treat it that way. cough. my body said no, please don’t. and my head did too. but i had to be prepared before heading to nagpur for diwali on thursday. cough. i had no choice.

the hysteria that accompanied the shopping and traffic was like a typical day after thanksgiving outside walmart, cough, with the uncontrollable masses preparing to storm the gates of the discount kingdom. people everywhere. grabbing everything. traffic ridiculously congested. cough. out of control really. which is quite something in delhi. to actually label it such, distinguishing it from a normal ‘out of control’ day says something about the level of chaos. cough. cough.

with my boxed sweets from haldiram’s in hand and my new kurtas and pyjamas nicely packed i jumped in my taxi and headed to the airport. i gave myself 2 hours and it took 2 hours. but not because of diwali. cough. instead, i was lucky enough to have one of those drivers who was better suited behind a desk. he was an absolute disaster. driving in circles. toward the congestion. completely confused, cough, and lost. my fever climbed, my blood pressure climbed, the tension climbed. i called a friend and had him translate my hysteria into effective hindi and from there i dictated the way. cough. and i made it. cough. barely.

so i boarded my flight to mumbai with yet another fever in full motion. cough. cough. and while i love indigo, even their perfect, plastic hospitality and shiny new planes couldn’t ease my desire to replace my crowded spot in seat 7A with a heavenly bed from the westin in the middle of nowhere. i finally reached mumbai, a place i love, to find no breeze and the exact heat i left in delhi. cough. oh, no wait. it was slightly different. it contained humidity, which just made it harder to breathe. cough. cough. but the feeling i always get in mumbai easily replaced being uncomfortable. cough. sort of.

punit met me at the airport. we reached his place just before midnight, ordered some bengali fish. cough. swallowed it whole. then crashed. but not for long. our flight to nagpur left at 7:30a. we rushed, cough, to the domestic airport at 5:30a the next morning only to discover our flight left from the international airport. huh? cough. nagpur, the most domestic place in india? and we’re leaving from the international airport? we rushed by auto to the other airport and barely made it. cough. cough. it was apparently heading to dubai after nagpur. cough. bizarre. cough. cough.

so early friday morning, punit’s birthday, we touched down in nagpur where i would celebrate diwali with his family. cough. cough. my fevers are now gone. but my cough persists. and its annoying. which is what i hope i’ve effectively communicated here. cough. you just want it to stop don’t you. trust me. i feel the same way. cough. cough. but getting here has been nothing like being here. nagpur has been an oasis of fresh air and loving people. genuine hospitality and family. and my next entries and photos will show you just how much fun diwali in nagpur has been!

reaching across the table

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:16:00 +0530

i’ve been having hilarious discussions recently with two friends over the cultural differences between indians and, say americans, at the dinner table or at restaurants. even out for coffee. the culture of sharing here runs deep. food is shared. space is shared. money is shared. as family and friends, what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.

in general, i’ve gotten used to it. people reaching across the table, dipping from my plate. i now assume that whatever i order will be eaten by more than just myself. so i choose wisely (i.e. order non-veg when i know everyone else at the table is veg). it’s not just because of the cultural environment. in general, indian food is designed for sharing. similar to our own family dinners or potlucks.

last night, over an individually ordered-jointly consumed dinner at an italian restaurant, where we all happened to order veg, the topic came up again. i was told that westerners don’t naturally share a thing when it comes to food. everything is kept separate. individual. “that’s not true!’ i said. “it depends on the food”, “on the context”. there are such things as shareable foods. my friend ankur ordered a pizza for his entree last night. it turned out to be huge. i knew right away that i could claim at least one piece due to sheer size. my pumpkin-filled ravioli, however, consisted of only six pieces, and i, therefore, had to reluctantly say, “yes of course take some!” when they sheepishly asked. but a small portion of ravioli is not a shareable food. pizza is. popcorn at the theater is. a single ice cream bar is not. french fries, always.

the discussion then shifted, as it always does, to the bill. who pays what. this is even debated among friends and families in the west. but here, there is a willingness to split a bill evenly regardless of whether you’ve eaten a thing. a friend once showed up at a restaurant and insisted on paying a third of the bill even though he’d arrived as we were leaving. makes me shamefully remember the days when my colleagues after work would evenly split bills and i would balk to myself because i had had only water while they had enjoyed real drinks.

just like at home, i’ve been out to dinner or coffee with people who insist on paying the whole bill, scolding me as i pull out my own money. they all use the line, “stop, you’re embarrassing me”. of course, i quickly put my money away, not wanting to commit any cultural faux pas. but sitting in mrs. kaur’s creperie this afternoon listening to an indian woman use that same line on her friend, i realized, it’s just one of those social-norm kind of lines. we have them too. “oh, i’ll get the bill next time”, even if you know you’ll never see them again. of course, in western society, it’s a way of evening out the predicament. a way to avoid simply accepting a nice gesture. a way to promise a return. a payback. you don’t sense that so much here, though it is expected that at some point i too would insist on paying, claiming embarrassment if they don’t allow me.

while i’m now somewhat used to reaching across the table, it isn’t something that i’ll have trouble unlearning upon my return home. these cultural do’s and don’ts have been ingrained since childhood. i’ll quickly remember how “rude” it is unless i’ve been given prior permission and we’re in a casual environment surrounded by shareable foods. until then, i’ll continue to reach, but only here and there. and not because it was rightfully mine from the moment it was ordered, but because i want a little taste to determine whether i’ll order it exclusively for myself the next time around.

in recovery

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:41:00 +0530

the past couple of weeks i’ve been struggling to recover. a whirlwind of visitors from the other side of the world and from here, all passing through one behind the other. i’ve been weak and exhausted, and this past week…sick. it hurts to swallow. my head feels like it weighs ten times more than the rest of my body. and every time i stop i fall asleep. i think the marathon across india last month finally caught up with me.

today and tomorrow are my official “fall break”, a break which indicates the halfway point of the semester. is that possible? i guess it doesn’t matter, it just is. the stress is mounting. i have two months to figure out my life. finish my masters project. get a job. oh yeah, and become fluent. all by thanksgiving.

it has only now finally dropped from 95 degrees to 82, something delhiites thought would never happen. the heat has been relentless. but the thought of touching down in chicago in mid-december, where it was below zero last year when i left, sounds downright disgusting.

so i’m buckling down. trying my darnedest to get things moving. to get this project started, so i can finish it. to speak, think and breathe hindi. to network with anyone who has connections to india that go beyond the latest pillow cover they bought at pier one. to figure out what i’ll be doing and where i’ll be living and what language i’ll be speaking three months from now.

the good news is a blog entry is always a sign that i’m in recovery. its like going to the grocery store. or cleaning my room. an obvious sign that i’m pulling my life back together. hopefully, my thoughts will flow like honey over the next few weeks as the heat subsides and i head to nagpur for diwali. and maybe the frequency of my entries will indicate some stability amid an otherwise chaotic last two months.

"i was just chased off my terrace by monkeys… ah, life in delhi."

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:55:00 +0530

“i was just chased off my terrace by monkeys…
ah, life in delhi.”

- 5:00pm wednesday