jonathan/ferguson

the jury is out. the deliberation over. i am returning to the united states of america the day before thanksgiving, november 25, four weeks from now, where i’ll spend the all-american holiday with friends and family in chicago. so much thought and drama has gone into this decision. and i am a bit of a wreck. i’m in the middle of slum visits for my final research project. i’m in the middle of battling a lung infection. i’m in the middle of converting normal phrases into ones that contain perfect and imperfect participles. and i’m in the middle of searching for a job that will bring me back here in a couple months (and one that will pay enough to cover student loans no longer in deferment).

today was a good hindi day. a good day in the slums. and actually a good day in delhi. but i’m feeling low. i’m not ready to leave. and this is the most uncertain my life has been in years. no direction. no place to call home. i desperately want to come back. i have not exhausted this experience. this place. and my hindi is only now starting to take off. another six months to a year would do the trick. cutting it off now is the wrong thing. i lived 9+ years of my life in tennessee. 9+ in north carolina. 9+ in illinois. and only 1 here. i need more time to figure it out. to really know. to become the local urban expert.

but for now, i’ll go where i know. and be where i must. and i’ll enjoy every minute catching up with my dear family and old friends. and i’ll celebrate those relationships until the right door opens and the right opportunity picks me up and brings me back. who knows, maybe before i even leave a direction will be clear. either way i have a lot to be thankful for this year and that’s what i’ll remember while stuffing my face with countless casseroles and american pies. see you in a few weeks!