jonathan/ferguson

the past couple of weeks i’ve been struggling to recover. a whirlwind of visitors from the other side of the world and from here, all passing through one behind the other. i’ve been weak and exhausted, and this past week…sick. it hurts to swallow. my head feels like it weighs ten times more than the rest of my body. and every time i stop i fall asleep. i think the marathon across india last month finally caught up with me.

today and tomorrow are my official “fall break”, a break which indicates the halfway point of the semester. is that possible? i guess it doesn’t matter, it just is. the stress is mounting. i have two months to figure out my life. finish my masters project. get a job. oh yeah, and become fluent. all by thanksgiving.

it has only now finally dropped from 95 degrees to 82, something delhiites thought would never happen. the heat has been relentless. but the thought of touching down in chicago in mid-december, where it was below zero last year when i left, sounds downright disgusting.

so i’m buckling down. trying my darnedest to get things moving. to get this project started, so i can finish it. to speak, think and breathe hindi. to network with anyone who has connections to india that go beyond the latest pillow cover they bought at pier one. to figure out what i’ll be doing and where i’ll be living and what language i’ll be speaking three months from now.

the good news is a blog entry is always a sign that i’m in recovery. its like going to the grocery store. or cleaning my room. an obvious sign that i’m pulling my life back together. hopefully, my thoughts will flow like honey over the next few weeks as the heat subsides and i head to nagpur for diwali. and maybe the frequency of my entries will indicate some stability amid an otherwise chaotic last two months.